The Discipline of Struggle

I usually start with the loftiest of goals for journaling or blogging.  Yet, even with the accountability of friends and family reading blogs online, journaling is one of the harder things for me to take time away every day to do.  I think several factors make journaling everyday a harder discipline for me.  First, I am a morning thinker but I really am seeking to have a reflection time at the end of the day.  I think I need to find a way to jot down details during the day or at the end, and then set aside an hour or so in the morning to allow my thinking, writing, and creativity to make sense of the last day's happenings.  Maybe I can jot down interesting notes from my day on the same pad I use for prayer requests during the day.  Another factor that makes everyday journaling difficult for me is that writing is a theraputic act, and, therefore, writing takes me a long while.  Even when doing academic papers, I on average spend about an hour per page (and that's 12 pt. Times New Roman Font doublespace). 

But putting all excuses aside, I really desire to develop the discipline of journaling.  But perhaps in my constant struggle to try to journal, there is a lesson and a new disicpline, the discipline of struggle.  By not letting go of this spiritual practice, despite my meager attempts to be faithful to it, by always thinking about journaling, though it doesn't happen everyday, by just this desire to journal, I go through my day, taking special notice in my daily interactions of how God is working in the world, how I am experiencing the Holy in the people around me, as we minister to one another.

So when Mom asked me yesterday if I was ever going to blog again, I said, "I have journaled already in my heart and my head.  I just haven't put it to pen or paper yet."  So today, when I got to leave church a little early and my host house is quiet, I decided to begin to write the blogs I already have ruminating in my heart and head.  So as I post, I hope all who read may be blessed by my experiences this summer and be inspired to view their daily lives through similar lens, knowing that God is always at work in the world around us.

Grace and Peace,
Amanda