Methodist LeBonheur Healthcare Visit (Week of June 25)

Isaiah 65:17-25

New Heavens and a New Earth

¹⁷ “See, I will create
    new heavens and a new earth.
The former things will not be remembered,
    nor will they come to mind.
¹⁸ But be glad and rejoice forever
    in what I will create,
for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight
    and its people a joy.
¹⁹ I will rejoice over Jerusalem
    and take delight in my people;
the sound of weeping and of crying
    will be heard in it no more.

²⁰ “Never again will there be in it
    an infant who lives but a few days,
    or an old man who does not live out his years;
the one who dies at a hundred
    will be thought a mere child;
the one who fails to reach a hundred
    will be considered accursed.
²¹ They will build houses and dwell in them;
    they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
²² No longer will they build houses and others live in them,
    or plant and others eat.
For as the days of a tree,
    so will be the days of my people;
my chosen ones will long enjoy
    the work of their hands.
²³ They will not labor in vain,
    nor will they bear children doomed to misfortune;
for they will be a people blessed by the Lord,
    they and their descendants with them.
²⁴ Before they call I will answer;
    while they are still speaking I will hear.
²⁵ The wolf and the lamb will feed together,
    and the lion will eat straw like the ox,
    and dust will be the serpent’s food.
They will neither harm nor destroy
    on all my holy mountain,”
says the Lord.　

　

What did I do at MLH (see) (hear) (touch)?

I saw people coming from all over the country to learn about an interesting partnership between the hospital, the place of health care, and the congregation and church, the place of soul care. How interesting that this hospital started out as and is still in some ways a church related institution. Have we forgotten in the church that we are to be places of wholeness care, that body and spirit are not separate, but two sides of the one coin that is our being? Perhaps not, perhaps we always knew. Maybe the hospital just caught a glimpse of how community works from the church. Whatever the case, I am encouraged by the near 500 congregational communities I saw pinpointed on a map that are in the steps to taking vested interest in their people’s health and wellness, both body and soul, as well as the diverse and interesting group that to learn more about CHN.
I heard in our meeting with Gary and Harry a real passion for the church and the hospital. Sometimes I feel like I have grown up at the hospital, played under its desks, hugged its employees, cried in its rooms where family have been patients, shared in its journey. To put a number with the amount of charity work I knew the hospital did was amazing to me. But the story you didn’t necessarily hear was the love, care, and patience I know many of the employees provide to every patient, whether they are homeless, uninsured, or an incarcerated individual stationed with guards. To hear the passion behind the voices at the hospital was very special to me. It was also very interesting to hear this lay person’s passion for the church. I felt that he was very committed to helping the church change in order to better serve and minister with the world.

What challenged me? What inspired?

I was inspired by the wholeness approach I heard as Gary talked. I’m not sure about all of the hospital’s efforts in South Memphis, but as he talked about that area, I was encouraged that he was talking about the hospital helping in ways in the community that effect "the place" (or non-genetic) factors of health, the majority of why people end up in unhealthy states. At the same time, I am challenged and wonder how much the hospital views the people in that community as a resource for changing the "place" factors. Do they have a mentality of shalom, or do they see themselves as parent, coming in to "fix" the situation, in the end saving themselves time and money?
　
　

What did I learn through my time with MLH that I didn’t know before?

In the Shalom document, there is a quote from the World Health Organization that reads, "Health is the state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease." I did not realize how much Methodist (or at least the people we talked to) had moved to language reflecting this wholeness of health, rather than absence of disease. I have spent a lot of the last two years of my life in a hospital with my fiance Adam when he was sick with ulcerative colitis complicated by his diabetes. I don’t remember always feeling this emphasis on wholeness. For a lot of his initial trips, I remember talks from doctors that sounded a lot like the language of scarcity. Statements like, "As soon as we get this episode calmed down and your blood sugar under control, you can go home." The absence of his flare up was going to what determined healthy. But after we left our Christmas stay in the hospital, we were back on Valentine’s Day, and then Easter through Mother’s Day, when he finally was starting his trio of surgeries that lasted through November. Each time, it felt to me like the mentality was fix the problem, now, not how do we help you create a wholeness of health for your life when you leave and go back home. If Methodist is really committed to viewing health with this wholeness, that involves making sure a patient has a community of care when they leave the hospital, I am very encouraged about the impact this focus on wholeness will have on individuals, how much more cared for they may feel, how their lives in quality of whole health might be improved.

How does the scripture reading for the week speak to me in light of this experience?

God’s view, God’s plan is for wholeness.
In the scripture, I hear the prophet’s words speaking at several levels.
First, very literally, I believe God really does have designs for the health of God’s children. Like a mother, God wants her children to live out their days in health and does not desire that infants should only live a few days or adults not live out their days. To eat fruit and plants. To live in homes and communities. This is all part of God’s vision--physical, mental, social, and spiritual well beingThe wolf and the lamb will feed together,
    and the lion will eat straw like the ox,
    and dust will be the serpent’s food.
They will neither harm nor destroy
    on all my holy mountain,”
says the Lord.　
At my church in West Nashville, our second grader Owen wrote and delivered his Children’s Sabbath sermon on this verse. When our pastor Sherry first read it to him and asked him what he thought it meant, he answered, "It’s about peace." So much of this Scripture is about peace, the harmony that comes from wholeness, Shalom. I see how the Methodist healthcare system is trying to do their part of Shalom, though they may not put it in that language, in the entire Memphis Metropolis, but especially in the downtown neighborhood that touches a lot of the poverty in Memphis.

　

What will I do with this?

I believe that the church should be in the business of wholeness, health, spirit, mind, body. Though I am encouraged that Methodist CHN has started to get churches to think about health within the walls, I am excited that CHN has realized and started to change trajectory that their goal for churches is to really invest in the community outside of their walls and bring a message of health and wholeness there. The church should never forget how much it has to offer to its neighborhood, and because it has this good news, it has the responsibility to share it. And the church should never forget, that the community has gifts to bring into the church that will help us on our journey to shalom. From all I have experienced, I resolve to look into churches, neighborhoods, and even institutions like MLH with an eye for abundance and assets, not the kind of eye that sees problems and deficiency and thereby breeds distrust and fear. Instead of this distrust and fear, let’s till the earth and grow up peace, harmony, and wholeness.

Along Came Trevor...(Week of June 11)

So I have had the pleasure this summer of getting to do a Summer Urban Ministry Immersion in my hometown.  And I love Memphis and my family, so it has been a great summer; negotiating time between my family and my commitments to fully engage this summer have been interesting and rewarding.  On some Thursday nights, I have been able to make it out to my brother's softball games with the young adult team from Colonial Park.  One of the Thursdays that I made it out to watch a softball game, CPUMC was playing an African-American UM church from Whitehaven.  (I think its name was Golden UMC.)  As I was sitting watching the game, this cute little kid came over near my bench, playing with some wood sticks.  I asked him his name, told him mine, and we spent the rest of the game talking and laughing and playing.  Trevor was such a well-mannered and outgoing little kid, only going into 1st grade.  As the game ended and the teams got ready to go home, I walked with Trevor over to his mom and grandmom and got to have a short conversation with them as well.  Even spending time with my family and friends away from my immersion experience, I enjoyed this moment to engage in conversation with people I would not normally meet and even in an environment (softball game/competition) where people may not usually take time to talk to others they don't know.

Grace and Peace,
Amanda

The Discipline of Struggle

I usually start with the loftiest of goals for journaling or blogging.  Yet, even with the accountability of friends and family reading blogs online, journaling is one of the harder things for me to take time away every day to do.  I think several factors make journaling everyday a harder discipline for me.  First, I am a morning thinker but I really am seeking to have a reflection time at the end of the day.  I think I need to find a way to jot down details during the day or at the end, and then set aside an hour or so in the morning to allow my thinking, writing, and creativity to make sense of the last day's happenings.  Maybe I can jot down interesting notes from my day on the same pad I use for prayer requests during the day.  Another factor that makes everyday journaling difficult for me is that writing is a theraputic act, and, therefore, writing takes me a long while.  Even when doing academic papers, I on average spend about an hour per page (and that's 12 pt. Times New Roman Font doublespace). 

But putting all excuses aside, I really desire to develop the discipline of journaling.  But perhaps in my constant struggle to try to journal, there is a lesson and a new disicpline, the discipline of struggle.  By not letting go of this spiritual practice, despite my meager attempts to be faithful to it, by always thinking about journaling, though it doesn't happen everyday, by just this desire to journal, I go through my day, taking special notice in my daily interactions of how God is working in the world, how I am experiencing the Holy in the people around me, as we minister to one another.

So when Mom asked me yesterday if I was ever going to blog again, I said, "I have journaled already in my heart and my head.  I just haven't put it to pen or paper yet."  So today, when I got to leave church a little early and my host house is quiet, I decided to begin to write the blogs I already have ruminating in my heart and head.  So as I post, I hope all who read may be blessed by my experiences this summer and be inspired to view their daily lives through similar lens, knowing that God is always at work in the world around us.

Grace and Peace,
Amanda

Abundance Abounding

So I have meant to publish a blog on my wonderful Wednesdays at Caritas Village.  Since my main responsibility is to serve lunch at Caritas, I even set myself up for a clever (or corny) title...with one my last blog's title being "...and Ketchup."  Get it Caritas (restaurant) and Ketchup (Catch up!) Haha!! But that only works if I post a blog about Caritas, which didn't happen.  But here is another jewel from Theological Reflections that talks about the abundance I see around me, especially at Caritas...I hope y'all enjoy :)

Mark 8
A Meal for Four Thousand1-3 At about this same time he again found himself with a hungry crowd on his hands. He called his disciples together and said, "This crowd is breaking my heart. They have stuck with me for three days, and now they have nothing to eat. If I send them home hungry, they'll faint along the way—some of them have come a long distance."
4His disciples responded, "What do you expect us to do about it? Buy food out here in the desert?"
5He asked, "How much bread do you have?"
"Seven loaves," they said.
6-10So Jesus told the crowd to sit down on the ground. After giving thanks, he took the seven bread loaves, broke them into pieces, and gave them to his disciples so they could hand them out to the crowd. They also had a few fish. He pronounced a blessing over the fish and told his disciples to hand them out as well. The crowd ate its fill. Seven sacks of leftovers were collected. There were well over four thousand at the meal. Then he sent them home. He himself went straight to the boat with his disciples and set out for Dalmanoutha.

　
ReflectionWhen I think about abundance, I immediately think of Caritas Village. I have thoroughly enjoyed every Wednesday I have spent serving there making friends with the volunteers, staff, and guests, as well as every meal I have shared there with friends. At Caritas, I feel abundance abounding. People from the neighborhood and beyond come to sit down, pause, and share a meal. I heard the joy of children upstairs on my first day celebrating the end of the school year, their accomplishments, and advancing to the next grade or graduating from elementary school. In every conversation with Charlie, I am once again reminded of just how quick, intelligent, witty, and charming one person can be. I share in Kay’s excitement as she prepares to teach a class on basic sewing skills. I serve lunch to the flirtatious Romeos, a group of older single men or widowers who meet every Wednesday, with a smile at the laughter and community they bring into Caritas. I am humbled by the other volunteers’ and staff’s gentle kindness to me when I give a wrong answer to a customer or get confused with an order or today, knock over a stack of clean plates in a crowded kitchen. The sounds of piano lessons going on above my head in the late afternoon sing their happiness throughout the Village. I witness Onye’s easy generosity and sharing of abundance as she instructs me to make some peanut butter crackers and turkey cheese rollups for some neighborhood kids wandering in after lunchtime. At Caritas, I rarely hear scarcity mentioned, and when I do, scarcity never seems anxious but instead is an indication of the blessing of having many people walk through the doors to share in the abundance and neighborhood common good already present.
I also felt the kingdom of abundance at Manna House. Working in the Clothing and Shower room last week, I was quickly inducted into the Manna House operations. Here, everyone has something to give. In order to provide a clean change of clothes, Manna House asks guests to turn in their dirty clothes after showering and changing to be washed and cycled back to the shelves and given away again. Though I didn’t get to spend time in the backyard sharing in coffee and games, I imagine guests and volunteers intermingling and sharing laughs and smiles as they played checkers or chess. Manna House embraces the abundance business that a house of hospitality can exist through the goodwill of guests who trust and leave their worn outfits behind, the love of faithful volunteers, and the occasional donations that keep the electric bills paid and the coffee pots full.
To me, being in the abundance business is partly in rethinking the questions we ask, like we have talked about in this group many times. Not questions that focus on scarcity like “What are we lacking?” or “What do we not have enough of?” or “What can we get out of this?” or “How do we fix our problems?” but questions like “What can we do with the abundance of life, community, and generosity already present in this place?” and “What kinds of dreams do we have for this place?” God has gifted these neighborhoods, these cities that others might view as suffering from scarcity, the gift of God’s children created with shining eyes and creative hearts and willing spirits. Part of our responsibility as servant leaders is to learn from the feeding of the four thousand and not ask, like the disciples, a question that focuses on scarcity, “What do you expect us to do about it?” but to answer Jesus’ question, “Do you have bread?” eagerly and live into the imaginative possibility of what we can do when we start to be in the business of abundance.
I am convinced that God is willing to gift abundance into our lives and into our neighborhoods, but we must carefully and attentively watch for abundance where the world see scarcity in order to receive it. I must commit to making the journey from an attitude associated with the kingdom of scarcity to a mindset of abundance daily, hourly, every moment in order to live into it. So how do I feel right now that I am receiving and living into the divine gift of abundance? When I remind myself that I have more to learn about God’s grace and goodness from other people than I could every hope to possibly teach, I choose the divine gift of abundance. When I slow down from a busied or worried pace of trying to do it all and begin to seek deep relationship, I choose the divine gift of abundance. When I am anxious about nothing and pray about everything, I choose the divine gift of abundance. When I take Sabbath seriously as God-ordained rest for the purpose of sustaining and reinvigorating creative holiness, I choose the divine gift of abundance. Abundance is already around us, and it is life-giving. May we as humble leaders continue to choose this divine gift for the common good and the glory of God.

Grace and Peace,
Amanda

Reconciliation: A Dream and a Call

Sorry my blogs have been fewer than expected...Story of my life!  I want to get this journal life thing down so bad, but when I am tired, my bed is like a siren's call!!  Anyway, here a few thoughts bubbling up in me from this experience (and my theological reflection time with my group here in the Bing!).

Romans 8:18-27
18I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us. 19For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the children of God; 20for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and will obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; 23and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. 24For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? 25But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
26Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. 27And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

　
Just a few months ago, I discovered how at least two stories from my past fit into God’s calling in my life and my prayer for God‘s vision for the world. I’ll share one here. It is my earliest recollection of crying when watching a movie or television show. I was in 1^st grade and up way past my bedtime watching a rerun of the Twilight Zone. In this particular episode, several senior adults in a nursing home decide they are tired of being old and being told they can do nothing, and so they organize a kick-the-can game for the next night. While most of the adults gleefully accept the offer to play and perhaps regain some semblance of youthfulness, one grumplepuss Grandpa refuses to join the others, thinking them crazy. In typical Twilight Zone fashion, the act of playing transforms the elderly into children, the kick the can game their own fountain of youth. Seeing this, the old man who had refused to join earlier begs for a second chance to play with the others and also be transformed, but it is too late, and in the end he sits holding the can, alone on the steps of the home. And I, a young girl, sat alone, in the darkness of my living room, crying at the isolation and breakdown of relationship there before me on the TV screen.
In my own journey, I see reconciliation, the righting of broken relationships between people, both individuals and groups, as part of God’s vision for the world. Like the exhilarating feeling of putting puzzle pieces together to form a whole picture, I have put together some of my experiences and my own longings as I have continued to discern my call from God. Most lead me not to prophetic proclamations against oppressive systems, though there is need for that, but to the simplicity of right relationship with fellow man and woman, not that this is a simple thing to accomplish. Walter Wink wrote in our reading for this week that “miracle is just a word we use for the things the Powers have deluded us into thinking that God is unable to do.” For me, I feel God already crying out through me that the miracle that God is able to do is to be the healing salve that can mend broken relationships, that can mend all the ways that we allow the Powers, whether through corrupt governments or soulless institutions or even the anonymity from others with which we live, to steal our humanness, our humaneness, our compassion and love for others.
On the background of my laptop computer is a quote from C.S. Lewis that reads, “There are far, far better things ahead than anything we leave behind.” As I meditated on the Scripture and the theological reading for this week, I was reminded that living in the presence of God, recognizing our part in co-creation, living into the Biblical precedent of prayerful bargaining requires that we leave a few things behind. Like Wink indicated, we leave behind the mentality that we have to do everything, that if the world is to be changed, it is up to us. Yes, God calls us to work for change, but we have to be grounded in the belief, as is Wink, that it is God’s power that answers the world’s needs, and not our own. This is one of the greatest deceptions of the Powers in my own life, the removal of my trust in God’s ability to intervene, my security in God’s faithfulness. For me, I have to leave behind the mentality that prayer is something I must do, words I must create. I find direction in Wink’s words, “Prayer is not magic; it does not always “work.” It is not something we do, but a response to what God is already doing within us and the world.” My part in co-creation, in the work of reconciliation among fellow human beings, is not my own invention or idea of how God should intervene, how God should change hearts. Instead, I am a reaction to the “sighs too deep for words” of God’s spirit within me, God’s call already active in the world. I am reminded that my prayer for healing in my own life and in the world, peace among people is an invitation to miraculous action to a God already present in my soul and in the world. And now I close with a poem “God’s Grandeur” by Gerard Manley Hopkins, that reminds me that even when we fail to invite God’s action into the world with our prayers for justice, peace, and reconciliation, God is still in the world:

THE WORLD is charged with the grandeur of God.

It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;

It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil Crushed.

Why do men then now not reck his rod?

Generations have trod, have trod, have trod; 5

And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;

And wears man’s smudge and shares man’s smell: the soil

Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;

There lives the dearest freshness deep down things; 10

And though the last lights off the black West went

Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs—

Because the Holy Ghost over the bent

World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

If interested, here is a link to the Twilight Zone episode http://www.myspace.com/video/o/the-twilight-zone-kick-the-can/19615645 (I think)

Peace and Grace,

Amanda

...and Ketchup

This post title will make more sense when I upload my next post, but just go with it for now...Here are my catch-up blogs from last week!! Enjoy :)

Tuesday, May 22

What did I do today (see) (hear) (touch)? [Objective--my 5 senses]

•       I saw an old church building, smelled its old wood, took in the ringing of gospel music around its rafters. The entrance and beginning to our journey through the Stax Museum, Soulsville USA. As we heard the stories and music from Stax ooze from the walls of the reconstructed museum, we got to experience one place, that for a moment in time and a small spot in history embodied the beloved community which we talked about in class discussion earlier this morning. Like one of the Stax musicians said, “At Stax, color didn’t come through the door.” Not that they didn’t notice the mixture of different races, not that the white folks degrading said to the black folks, “I don’t see you as black but just as a normal person.” No, color was there, it was celebrated, it just didn’t make a difference or draw boundaries between people at Stax.

What challenged me today? What inspired? [Reflective--my intuition, my emotion]

•       I was inspired by the story of Stax, resurrected from its destruction to a place of learning and music. It really taught how a place can keep its soul even when we think it is gone.
•       I was challenged by the facts presented in “At the River I Stand.” Growing up in Memphis, the Civil Rights Movement gets romanticized. While we are taught to mourn as children that we live in a city where Dr. MLK was shot, we are also taught to think that the marches for the sanitation workers were completely unified that all those working for civil rights were of one mind. While the truth of the distinction and factions even among the leaders of the Civil Rights movement doesn’t take away from the power of the Civil Rights movement or the work accomplished in Memphis, it does take away that easy narrative of events from my childhood narrative. Life is much more complicated, and while I still look with pride on those men and women who stood up for the sanitation workers in Memphis, I realize the gravity of the work Memphis still has left to do to heal the hate between the different races and ethnicities today.

What did I learn today that I didn't before?

•       I learned about some great education going on in Memphis that I really didn’t know about before. I hadn’t heard of what Soulsville Academy was doing for students in both academic and musical education. What a great blessing to hear today that the first class from Soulsville will be graduating in 2012!

How does the scripture reading for the day speak to me in light of this day's experience? [Interpretative--What does this all mean?]

•       Micah 6:6-8
o       God requires mercy, justice, and humility in our own lives and in the world as well. The mercy of people who think differently to work together for the common good. The justice of advocates demanding what is right when society or individuals deny that right. Humility to recognize how much further we have to go as individuals and as humanity towards what God wants for creation as well as the humility to recognize that we can do none of this work on our own but only with God’s help.
•       Acts 1:1-14
o       God is always with us in the struggle. In figuring out our mission, God sends angels along the way to help. When the disciples are standing around searching the heavens after Jesus ascends, two angels tell them to not look up, but look out. Out in the world, that is where our mission is. Like at Stax, the mission wasn’t to look out on a lot and mourn the loss of a great place. The mission, at least for Kirk Whalum and others, was to restore the lot, bring back (or maybe tap into) the soul that used to be at that place. To use the history of Stax for good today, education and creativity.

What will I do with this? [Decisional--self-conscious response; the next steps]

•       Like the owner of Stax who wanted to start a country recording studio but was able to stand back and let the artists that came there come together and create a whole new sound called soul, I decide to use the gift God has given me to be able to get something running, to get it off the ground, and then step back and let the whole group take it further, and created something much more beautiful than I could ever do on my own.

Wednesday, May 23

What did I do today (see) (hear) (touch)? [Objective--my 5 senses]

•       I smelled and tasted some of the best soul food in the city of Memphis! The Four Way Restaurant is as much a part of South Memphis history as the Stax Museum. As the owner proudly told our table of all the people who had been to The Four Way or as he told us about the heritage of the lamps on the wall, you heard the pride and history of the South Memphis neighborhood ringing out in the air.
•       I could hear and see the Booker T. Washington high school band marching down the street, waking up the neighborhood, calling people to come join the block party, calling strangers to become friends and help create peace, shalom, on their block with the simple first step of knowing who you live with.
•       I saw kids running around the neighborhood, playing a pick-up game of basketball.

What challenged me today? What inspired? [Reflective--my intuition, my emotion]

•       I was inspired by Marlon’s story of moving back into his neighborhood, and his journey from getting involved with Knowledgequest to starting Christquest church. How awesome that a church would be birthed out of a ministry to kids in the neighborhood, and not the other way around!
•       I am challenged by the process of Restorative Justice that Marlon was talking about for his neighborhood instead of getting the police involved, for example if a neighborhood kid breaks a window and working out a system with the person for repayment.  I wonder how often we in the church seek restorative justice in such situations, exactly the sort of justice and reconciliation the church is called to practice and seek in the world.

What did I learn today that I didn’t before?

•       I learned so much about the Shalom Zone in South Memphis.  I had no idea this sort of grass roots and holistic ministry was going on in South Memphis.  I had volunteered with some ministries (i.e. Streets) in South Memphis, but I am so thankful that there are churches like Christquest and Greater White Stone Baptist leading this work.

How does the scripture reading for the day speak to me in light of this day's experience? [Interpretative--What does this all mean?]

•       Mark 6:30-44
o       God instructs us to feed the crowds, not to let them fend them for themselves.  But God doesn’t leave us alone in the midst of such crisis, but miraculously transforms meager amounts into more than enough for the need.  It reminds me of the community gardens in Binghampton and in South Memphis, using vacant overgrown lots and transforming them into gardens that can provide healthy and fresh food to the neighborhoods.

What will I do with this? [Decisional--self-conscious response; the next steps]

•       I want to educate others as to what is going on in South Memphis.  A lot of my friends and acquaintances know about the work being done in Binghampton, but I imagine that they are clueless like I was about things like the Shalom Zone and Knowledgequest and Christquest.

Friday, May 25

What did I do today (see) (hear) (touch)? [Objective--my 5 senses]

•       I heard a story of a church answering God’s call to move into a particular neighborhood, taking faith that through them God would use a building that seemed too big for them by filling it with different ministries that meet neighborhood needs and allow others to pursue and share their passions.

What challenged me today? What inspired? [Reflective--my intuition, my emotion]

•       I was inspired by the time I was able to spend in reflective contemplation in the labyrinth today.  By repeating prayers or scriptures, I was able to enter into a conversation with God that is hard to have in the everyday humdrum of my life routine. 
•       I was challenged by our activity seeking to answer questions we as students had posed.  It helped me work through and apply our experiences and readings from the week to my own context and situation.

What did I learn today that I didn't before?

•       I re-learned the importance of holy friendship.  By working in small groups today, I was able to see how just talking through some issues and questions with other clergy can help my own creativity and resourcefulness blossom.

How does the scripture reading for the day speak to me in light of this day's experience? [Interpretative--What does this all mean?]

•       Revelation 21:1-8; 22:1-5
o       An excerpt from The Message: “Look, Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making his home with men and women.  They’re his people, and he’s their God.  He’ll wipe every tear from their eyes.”
o       This week, I have seen neighborhoods where God has moved in, where God’s home is right alongside the men and women working for shalom and reconciliation in Memphis.  What a blessing to have been able to see this scripture lived out.

What will I do with this? [Decisional--self-conscious response; the next steps]

•       Today, I committed to listen behind the words people speak, behind hate and fear, and to hear the spiritual and community needs of people in whatever location God places me to serve and minister.

Grace and Peace,
Amanda

Highland Heights Visit...and my soon to be community from Sunday to Tuesday this summer

I haven't had a chance to upload my journals from the past two days, but here is today's reflections.  I will post the past two days asap when I can catch my breath!! Been a busy week, but a mighty good week.

What did I do today (see) (hear) (touch)? [Objective--my 5 senses]

• I got to see the life of the Highland Heights neighborhood today in the Montesi's grocery store.  The customers walking to "their" grocery store.  The owner who cuts his own profit because he knows that these are hard times for the people in the community.  The general manager who calls her customers and co-workers family.  The deli counter staff who were so patient and helpful to a bunch of sojourners, hungry and looking for a meal.
• I heard Fred Morton's passion for authentic leadership that rises out from the body of the neighborhood and the recognition that this takes time and intentionality.

What challenged me today?  What inspired? [Reflective--my intuition, my emotion]

• I was challenged by Jeralyn's question, "Are we working on our churches for the betterment of the community, or are we working on our communities for the betterment of the church?"  Wrestling with that question, my heart won't let me not ask, "Which option is for the glory of God?"  Are we called to maintain buildings that swallow our congregations?  Are we called to institutional maintanence?  Are we called to do the works of justice and peace just so we can add members to the roll books and pat ourselves on the back as we build the idolatrous structures to our own egos higher and higher?  No.  That's not what any of us in this room have in our hearts.  It's not why we are here today.  And I don't think it's why those ministers from the Highland Heights area are there doing their work either.  But why can't we work on our churches and work in our communities.  God calls us to agape love, to caritas love.  Why can't we work on the hearts, souls, minds, and bodies of those in our church and our community?  Isn't that relationship is all about?  God, forgive us for when it takes the decline and death of our churches or our communities to call us into action to do the work that you have called us to.
• I was inspired by the conversation between the four church leaders today at HHUMC.  No I didn't agree with everything that was said, or necessarily with the way each man viewed the neighborhood and its situation.  But what inspired me in that talk was quite simply the conversation between four men in ministry, in different denominations or capacities, and their willingness to talk with one another.  Our Christian's body is fractured, and we are often left fighting each other for control of the best ministries that will help us steal the most sheep.  But when we come together, and just talk, we might be able to find common ground in our neighborhood as well as in our Christian faith; and we might just be able to make a deeper, more important impact on our communities.

What did I learn today that I didn't before?

• Tom Laney asked us at dinner, "What has changed about you since your first year at Vanderbilt?"  At my turn, I answered, "I have always had a problem with the art of "critique."  Through some of the tough situations I have lived into with my fellow Turner cohort and from my peers' willingness to name uncomfortable situations or disfunctional meeting times, I was able to see how a critical eye (though not an argumentative one) can help a situation past some deadness or unspoken disagreement to go on to do greater, deeper work."  I go back to Geralyn's question that challenged me.  A year ago, I would not have been able to identify with Geralyn's question and move beyond to another related questions like, "What is for the glory of God?"  Instead of seeing the challenges people bring up as too pessimistic, I am able to look behind people's critiques and see what is really going on, look beyond the event to the patterns and systems, if you will.  I am able to let my "people-pleasing" self go a little more at a time and live with the hard questions.  Today, I learned about myself how I am growing in this practice.

How does the scripture reading for the day speak to me in light of this day's experience? [Interpretative--What does this all mean?]

• Numbers 11:10-30
• The city is like Moses..."Did I conceive all these people God?  The weight of them is on my shoulders?"  We are called to be the council of 70 in the community, to take the weight off of the city's shoulders and to restore her reputation, to bring shalom.
• 1st Corinthians 12:12-31
• We are all one body.
• Where do the affluent fit into our urban scenes?  How do we as church leaders bring all into one body?  Could we be called to preach to the wealthy about an odd God on the margins, or even an odd God who meets them on the margins of their lives?  How can we have shalom if we don't include everyone?

What will I do with this? [Decisional--self-conscious response; the next steps]

• I want to think more about the relationship between the community and the church, to continue to delve into how the church can be authentic with its community outreach (not just for means of self-preservation, although that may be a welcome side-effect).
• I also want to delve into how we can bring the affluent into relationship with the margins?  We can't ignore the center, but how do we get those in the center to start questioning the norm and their status.  Do we ever break relationship with those who refuse to get on board with our shalom vision?  If we do, how is that shalom?  If we don't, do we let them take down all the good work being done with negative attitudes?  How can we find a third possibility to these two?

Some of my friends in the class have added creative portions to their journals, so taking up on what they have done, I have this short piece to offer that also sums up some of what I have done the past two days as well (though I will get those other journals up soon so you can have more details)...

A city.  Broken.  Tired.  Lost in the desert.  Was it just a little over 40 years ago that the sanitation workers were crying out for justice?  Crying out against their oppressors who allowed them to work in abhorrent conditions for slavish wages?  Yet God called out, "I have heard your cry.  I know your suffering.  I will deliver you."  And God called out leaders, modern day Moseses to lead the people across the streets stained with red their blood and tears, to march for their freedom.  Now...40 years and more of wandering in the desert.  What change remains?  Has the city really moved that far?  Why have we let our communities that we could once organize to march for freedom break down to the point where neighbor distrusts neighbor, and our friends become strangers?  The city that has seen the potential for change and community and the kingdom of God know sees her people weeping, still weeping.  And the city cries out to God, "Why have you treated me so badly?  Why have I not found favor in your sight?  You lay the burdens of all these people at my feet!  Did I conceive all these people?  Did I give birth to them?  How am I supposed to feed them?  I cannot carry their burden alone; they are too heavy.  Can I just die?  It would put me out of my misery."  But God answers to the city, "I am not done with you. Gather those leaders who know the people.  Who know the stories, the assets of your people.  I will put your spirit, Memphis, your soul into these people.  They will help carry the burden.  In Binghampton, when gang or drug violence steals lives, these people, your people will hold candles and sing for love and reconciliation and drown out the anger for retaliation.  In South Memphis, where the destruction of a music studio that embodied the diversity and love between people who come together to pour their sould into music, these people, your people will resurrect it and draw in their children to teach them how to move and groove to the music I have placed in their hearts.  And a high school band will march down the streets and wake the people up, calling them, urging them to come outside, come out from locked doors, and meet their neighbors, grow food together, educate their children together, worship together.  In Highland Heights, a once vibrant place challenged by drugs, alcohol, and economic downturn, where churches that used to hold thousands find themselves empty of what they used to know and overwhelmed by new diversity, there will be a grocery store, long-standing, who has seen the plight of its community but holds on, and lowers prices because it knows that "these are hard times," and there will be leaders working for shalom, seeking to find what it means in their neighborhood, seeking the leaders of tomorrow for the neighborhood today, sounding the trumpet that we cannot wait, we need peace, we need God here now, not for ourselves, but for our community."  God speaks with an intense whisper, the kind that is no louder than a butterfly's wings beating but booms and echoes in your mind, body, and soul; God whispers, "Memphis I am moving.  I am breathing.  I have sent you leaders, you do not have to do it on your own.  The world is not black and white, there are not bad weeds and good seed alone.  I have given you something much more beautiful than that: restoration, recreation, renewal.  Live into that possibility of the gray, the inbetween Memphis.  Know that every part is the body of Christ, and that I am an odd God standing on the margins, calling out to all of my people in this city.  You need it all Memphis; without all your parts, you will lose your soul.  So seek out those leaders who can transform what the false prophets deem as lowlife, dirty, and violent, and know always that you are not alone."

Binghampton: The Beginning of a Journey

As I begin my immersion in Binghampton this summer, I feel that blogging my experiences will not only help me process my days and preserve memories, but also it will allow God to work through my heart as I ponder and pray over my daily experiences.  Not to mention, give me a simple way to share with all of those out there praying for me a chance to be part of what I'm doing this summer.

Since I am beginning this summer with a week-long intensive course at Memphis Theological in which I am required to journal every night, this first week of blogging might be more formal or focused than the rest (I'll include the guiding questions for the journal in these first posts), but I know God can use it all to transform me and my heart.  I've been wanting to create a blog for awhile, and this gives me the perfect chance to start.  Well, here it goes...

What did I do today (see) (hear) (touch)? [Objective--my 5 senses]

• Today, as we discussed Sabbath in the City, I heard passion.  Passion from the authors' words.  Passion from the pastors the authors interviewed.  Passion from our MTS teaching staff.  Passion from my fellow students.  Passion from my own heart.  The passion centered around the possibilities for the church, the body of Christ, in the city.  With humble recognition of the many failings and ways the church can get it wrong in the city, I heard throughout the day a passion of hearts set on fire for a world is being transformed by Christ, a passion for cities and communities that might embrace diversity and possibility and begin to glimpse what the city of heaven might be like, living into "thy kingdom come."  As we moved in the afternoon from lunch at Caritas Village to walking the streets of Binghampton to sharing the Lord's Supper at the Commons, I heard passion come through everyone's stories, the places' history, the awe, wonder, and even frustration of seeing God at work, great ministry being done, amazing community happening and wondering "How?"
• I saw many people but one purpose, many traditions but one body, many beliefs but one God. Amen.
• I felt the embrace of my brothers and sisters in Christ as we joyfully hugged and shook hands passing the peace of Christ after sharing Holy Communion together.

What challenged me today?  What inspired? [Reflective--my intuition, my emotion]

• Perhaps the question is, "What didn't inspire?"  And I guess I would have to answer to that, "Nothing."  I drew inspiration from every part of the day.  Meeting the other students in the class and hearing their stories.  Listening to Onie's story of conviction and call that lead to Caritas Village and Caritas House.  According to http://www.dictionaryofspiritualterms.com/public/glossaries/terms.aspx?ID=1137, caritas means "selfless love, as of God for man and man for God; human compassion for one’s neighbor" and is the Latin equivalent for agape.  In the wonderful smells from the kitchen as we stepped through the door, in the impromptu conversation with the firemen in line behind me waiting to place our orders, in the beautifully inspiring art displays, and in the wonderfully nourishing taste of our shared meal, I felt the selfless love and compassion behind the name of Caritas. 
• I shared at our closing conversation in class today the "personal uneasiness" as one of my emotions from the day.  That emotion was related a lot to how I was challenged today.  I am convicted that God has placed a strong call on my heart for dedicating my life to ministry, and I've had the distinct joy of being able to learn how to be in ministry through church staff positions and internships since I graduated high school.  And I know that to sustain my own relationship with God for my personal flourishing and my work in ministry, I need to be grounded in regular, intentional, spiritual disciplines.  Yet, I have struggles with the regular and intentional part of this for sometime.  Like Professor Gathje said, "We get to be good Christians by practicing our faith."  And I do practice my faith by searching the scriptures, praying, worshipping, singing, reflecting in silence, etc; it is just that I want to be more regular about incorporating this into my all day, every day being.  Hearing Amy M. and Billy V. sharing both their strong calls and their grounding spiritual disciplines, I was reminded of how God's call in my life speaks and is formed by my spiritual practice, and my uneasiness developed with my honest self-realization that the discipline of my faith needs to be a stronger grouding place in my life.  I REJOICE that as part of a covenant discipleship group at VDS this past semester I began to reclaim such spiritual disciplines as daily or weekly practices; and I am humbled by God's grace offerred to me despite my failings.

What did I learn today that I didn't before?

• While I did know about some of the wondeful things going on in Binghampton like Billy V's ministry and Service Over Self home restoration (which we didn't talk about as a class but in which I was involved in high school), I learned a lot more about Binghampton's character, history, and diversity today.  I think that the story of the candlelight vigil after the Lopez brothers' murder that included both Latinos and African-Americans and fostered reconciliation instead of retaliation just really brought home for me some of the amazing ministry being done in the neighborhood.  While organized by leaders in the community, the vigil allowed all people to come together and be together in ministry to the entire neighborhood and offering a model of reconciliation and peace in a time of hurt and grief, anger and distrust.

How does the scripture reading for the day speak to me in light of this day's experience? [Interpretative--What does this all mean?]

• Exodus 20:8-11
• Sabbath--My lack of regularity and intentionality concerned with some of my spiritual disciplines is a lack of Sabbath (rest with God) in my daily life
• Sabbath is to sustain the ministry of all Christians, lay and clergy, and set us apart as a people of God
• Seeing how Sabbath has sustained and renewed the people we met today and their ministries
• Jeremiah 29:4-14
• Like Chip C. said, this is all about "Bloom where you are planted"
• The welfare of the city is my welfare, is your welfare, is the church's welfare
• God has a plan...our part is to do the work and trust
• God has a plan for Binghampton, and the neighborhood working together is seeing that plan realized piece by piece with ultimate trust in God and the call God has placed in their lives (especially CTC and Commons on Merton)

What will I do with this? [Decisional--self-conscious response; the next steps]

• Billy's saying about people in the community "doing what their heart won't let them not do" inspires my to write this section in this style: "I can't not..."
• I can't not cultivate regularity and intentionality around my spiritual practices and have some one or some group to which I can be accountable for this (like the support of the CD group I had at VDS) summer as I am in ministry in their field education immersion program.
• I can't not dig in heart and soul with all the love I can muster at Caritas Village.  Like Professor Gathje talked about, in new places and ministries I can tend to approach the situation unreflectively and thereby miss out on some great learning and loving opportunities.  No "TV show mentality" (not being truly and wholly involved with body, soul, mind) at Caritas this summer for me!

Well that's a lot for a 1st blog.  But I'm wordy and I think in prose, so this is probably the first of many long posts to come.  If you are reading this, I ask that you pray for me as I continue this journey this summer.

Grace and Peace,
Amanda